Yesterday I re-listened to a live Q&A that I did with my son 5 years ago. The audio was a mess but we powered through trying to share how we got to the other side as a family when the culture was telling us to disconnect, detach and let go. We didn’t do that.
I couldn’t do that.
When asked what it was that helped the most this is what my son said,
“You (mom) always came from a point of genuine understanding. Never anger, never tried to belittle, shame, guilt trip or make me feel bad. You stayed connected. I really didn’t know how to get out of it. I knew it wasn’t working and it was bad but It wasn’t as simple as saying, ‘I need help.’ You (mom) kept offering something. Now I can see where the pushes were, where you’d disrupt the use and push for some kind of help. She (mom) kept disrupting the pattern but not in an unkind way. In a powerful way.”
“You (mom & dad) were open to the process and did your homework. You got educated and learned how to be in recovery, how to create an environment that supports recovery. Even before I did.”
I thought this was one of the most important things he said,
“Don’t let it go and make them figure it out on their own.”
This is the kind of culture change we hope to make with The Family Recovery Documentary.
One of the things we hope to address is where and how we learned our responses to addiction in the family and how connection and a genuine understanding is a powerful force for recovery.
Carry On,
Shelly